Lately...

I've been thinking about the world we live in.

Right now, I'm going to warn you, I am going to say some things about God and such that might offend some but  I just really want to put this all out there.

If you talk to anyone religious about why bad things happen to good people and if there's a God why isn't he stopping it they will talk about this little thing called "Free Will".  For those of you who don't know what this means it is "The ability or discretion to choose; free choice: chose to remain behind of my own free will."  or "The power of making free choices that are unconstrained by external circumstances or by an agency such as fate or divine will."


I personally don't know where I stand on the whole "God" thing. Sometimes I believe because there has to be something. Sometimes I don't because of the evil in the world and the fact that people have ruined God. Now please don't take offense to this but people make everything about religion and they make all these rules that you have to follow to believe or to get into heaven or other stupid shit.


I thought God was supposed to love everyone? Nope guess not. If you're Catholic YOUR God hates everyone who isn't Catholic. If you're Mormon YOUR God hates everyone who isn't Mormon. You just can't win in this game. 


So in short, thank you people who have preached and made rules all these years because I no longer want to believe though part of me does.


I just want to throw this little thing in here, two things you never talk about at parties are Politics and Religion because chances are you're gonna piss someone off.


Mmkay, back to the almighty Free Will. When it comes to this notion of we rule our own lives I go into one of my "God doesn't exist" stages. This man or thing or whatever you want to consider God, decides if we are forgiven or going to Heaven but we make all the other decisions? Now that doesn't seem right. If he is going to decide what happens to me when I die, then I want him making me fucking decisions for me!! 


I'm going to switch to my other topic because this one could go on forever.


If you look at the world we have people who bring guns to school, people being raped, kids getting killed, wars, famine, poverty, serial killers, power hungry men and women, people getting beat up or killed for choices they have made or for just being who they are.


Now I know it sounds backwards and people say "Killing people who kill people doesn't make killing wrong" or any other variations of that but I am completely for the death penalty and abortion. 


I'm going to bring up the most recent case that everyone knows that makes everyone sick. Casey Anthony. We all know she did it, no one can hear that she waited 31 days to report her kid and not know something is terribly wrong there. Yet she got off because there wasn't enough evidence, which I understand there wasn't, and now she is talking about having MORE kids. Now who doesn't get sick hearing that? I know it makes me shake with anger. She should have been given the death penalty for that and we all know it. 


Evil.


I believe we are all born evil. There is evil inside all of us and getting baptized isn't going to flush it out or anything like that. No, I think it has to do with how we are treated and raised and what we grow up like. I'd like to say I couldn't kill another human being but there are certain circumstances where I wouldn't hesitate. 


"You need to really want to cause pain --- to enjoy it --- righteous anger won't hurt me for long..." 


It sounds terrible but if I was in a room with a man who was raping little kids and I had a gun in my hand I would shoot him in the stomach and walk away without ever feeling a thing because I would know he died a long, painful death. 


But now, could I walk into a school with a gun and kill people? No. There are people I hate more that went to my school but I would never want to see that fear in their eyes or see the life leave their eyes, it makes me sick to even think about how people could do that sort of thing. 


I guess all I'm trying to say is we need to learn to be better to each other. I don't believe there will ever be a world where there isn't war or talk of war or where people don't hate others for no reason. I don't think that's possible. But I do think that we can cut out most of the negativity. You don't know what that boys life is like at home, you don't know that his dad beats his mom or that his sister killed herself a few months ago and he is the one who found her. You never know. So if you can take anything from this please just make an effort at least once a day to help someone, to be kind to someone. I know I am not the nicest person on the outside but do you really know anything about what has happened to me or what I've gone through?


So please, just try this and see how you feel about yourself.  Thank you for reading.